My journey with OCD

A radio interview of my story for Mental Health Awareness Week

Hi friends,

Ironically, my mental health at this literal moment is in pieces – not because of OCD but because of circumstances which have caused immense anxiety and depression over the last few months.

That said, one condition that I don’t suffer from on a regular basis anymore is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – something I was diagnosed with at the tender age of 5. I know, that seems too young. But it wasn’t. My childhood was marked by it. I never knew a “young and carefree” season as a kid. By my teens, I wanted to die.

But through extensive exposure therapy, God well and truly healed me. And 16 years later, I’m now grateful for this chapter of my story because I’ve since helped countless people who were suffering with OCD and didn’t know it. Because I could see my own struggles in them, I was able to signpost them to help, where they could receive a proper diagnoses and the necessary treatment. God has used me to bring relief to the strangled minds of so many, and what a flippin’ gift.

In the height of my suffering, I never thought I’d say that I was grateful to endure such an all-consuming mental illness, but I am. I am grateful. I’m grateful that I endured and survived it. I’m grateful that God is a God who redeems. I’m grateful that my parents didn’t give up on me and that I didn’t give up on myself.

So many people don’t understand the full spectrum of OCD. They think it’s just needing things to be neat and tidy. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s an illness that can take over literally every part of your life and stop you in your tracks. It’s an illness that can make you not only afraid of the world but afraid of yourself. It clouds your entire perception of life with lies, grief, fear, and darkness. It’s an ugly, ugly beast to fight second by second.

But know this: it can be fought.

Today, I’m sharing a radio interview that I did a few years ago on UCB 2 with Ruth O’Reilly-Smith. I’m not sharing it to big myself up in any way. I’m not sharing it because I believe that I’m some sort of hero. I’m sharing it because I don’t want any more people to suffer in silence. I know far too many people who lived with OCD for years and didn’t realise it – believing that they were simply evil, depraved human beings. It’s not the life God wants for you.

So if you have been living with crippling intrusive thoughts or imprisoning compulsive behaviours, I encourage you to listen to my interview and research the warning signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. If it’s something which you discover is the source of your mental anguish, please know that there is hope. My two favourite resources are NOCD and the OCD Center of Los Angeles (where I received life-changing treatment, which you’ll hear about in my interview).

There is hope, friends. I tell myself that in this very moment as I suffer a new flavour of mental illness. There is hope. There is healing. God redeems.

Peace be with you this Mental Health Awareness Week.

All my love,