Christina, you really have a way with words. It’s clear that you have a heart for the truth and that you trust in the goodness and sovereignty of God despite our fallen world. Your faith is beautiful and your willingness to wrestle with such a topic is inspiring. I admit, I easily fall under the camp of trying to find theological purpose behind healing as if finding the answer would remedy the pain it’s caused. You’re absolutely right, sometimes sh*t just happens because our world is broken. It takes a lot of faith to trust God through our pain. It takes even more faith to *still* pray for healing with a heart of trust and humility even after years of “no’s” and “not yets”. You have such a powerful story and I can only imagine the rest of the series will be just as enjoyable to read!
Kathy your comment has really encouraged me. Thank you for taking the time to read and to say such lovely things! I think the desire to find a theological purpose to our pain is SO normal, not just as Christians but as humans. We are literally meaning-making machines. 😂
As someone who is always looking for the deeper meaning, the idea that sh*t just happens is a bit of a head-scratcher for me. But essentially, I find that to be a more logical conclusion than to assume something about God that might actually obscure my understanding of His true character, simply so I can explain the pain away. In truth, our bodies hold onto the pain anyway, so I might as well sit in the frustrating lack of answers with God and wait for Him to help me understand… eventually… at some point. 😂
So sorry to hear about what is going on with you physically, Christina. It can be hard to navigate our health and the journey isn’t always easy. I will say a prayer for you today ✨
I used to wonder why God never completely eradicated my depression which I’ve dealt with since my teenage years. I’d always heard of other people being completely healed, why not me? That has truthfully been a hard thing to navigate, because my depression is always lurking there in the background, ready to pounce upon me when I’m not paying attention. I’ve prayed, I’ve lamented, I’ve sobbed incoherently, and I still don’t have any answers, but I can say, I have felt Him beside me in all of it. All this to say is that I truly empathize with you have written here Christina and I appreciate your honesty in what can be a tricky subject to talk about.
Thank you for sharing a little piece of your story, Mackenzie (and for reading a long chunk of mine). I am going to be writing further about the specific topic of healing when it comes to mental health later on in this series, but all I will say for now is that I am so sorry that you’ve suffered with depression for so long, and I applaud your tenacity to trust God despite the painful “why’s” of not being healed (yet, I’ll always say “yet.” I’ll always believe for our healing). Bless you, Mackenzie. Praying peace over you today. ♥️
I’ve said it before, but you have a wonderful voice for narrating. Has anyone told you that a bit of a British accent is starting to sneak in?
At 63 years of age God has still not healed my autism and a couple dozen comorbidities. But I am comforted by knowing that God chooses the weak things of this world to reveal His power.
Since you’ve already addressed the issue of genetic and stress problems, have you or your doctors considered whether you may have high functioning autism, as I do? It often comes with a lot of comorbidities due to general genetic issues.
One big clue is : do you find social interaction to be a lot of work and then end up utterly depleted with severe exhaustion after a long period amidst several people? Sometimes exhaustion can be the result of a lot of talking to even one person you’re not close to.
Regardless, I am praying for God‘s will to be done in the lives of you and your family.
Thank you so much for sharing a little piece of your story with me, Bob. It means a lot, and I know that everyone's healing (or not healing) journey is so personal.
To answer your question, I do not think that there is a high chance that I have high functioning autism. I have worked as a teacher and manager around a wide variety of neurodivergent people, and God has given me such a heart and love for the ways in which their brains work. But I myself would definitely class as "neurotypical." Thank you so much for your suggestions, though. I truly appreciate it! Bless you!
Well, this just challenged me to do a little more praying for healing than I have the last 10 years. I had a similar situation with a classmate in Bible college who was super disappointed with me when I said I was taking a break from praying for healing, because my more urgent request was for the grace to just get through a single day in my body. A decade later my body still has its issues, but getting through each day is quite a bit easier. Perhaps since God has answered those prayers it’s time to return to asking for full healing. Thank you for the challenge.
I think there is SO much merit in praying for nothing but the grace to endure. I still don't know WHY I feel such a challenge to pray for healing, because I truly don't know if the healing will ever come, and I can be content with the mere ability to endure on this side of heaven. It feels like God is saying to me "never settle" or even "I didn't make you to settle." But then I feel this fear of getting prosperity gospelly and it all feels a bit weird. Ultimately, though, I just keep defaulting to the simple truth that we pray for healing because we can, and that fact in itself is pretty cool. I hope that whatever comes of your prayers, you feel a sense of beauty in your very ability to pray it. Bless you, Tabitha. <3
This is the first piece of yours that I’ve read, and I’m so impressed. Appreciate your honesty and vulnerability
I’ve personally experienced both miraculous healing (of a likely terminal cancer no less) and chronic, life-sucking illness. There’s such a challenge in loving and trusting a God who sometimes heals.
A realisation that has helped me is reflecting on the way that God suffers with me, and with all of us. He chooses to be with us in our suffering. He could stop it but he doesn't always. The thought of the pain that he must experience as he suffers with each of the billions of people on earth with pain that he could take away but chooses to endure is incredible to me. There is a love in that that is hard to comprehend.
Yes, Christine. That truth about Him being with us in our suffering was profoundly life-changing for my faith a few years back. It dawned on me as I was reading God on Mute, and I've never been the same kind of Christian since. Thank you so much for sharing (and praise God for your healing!!!)
So beautifully said Christina. As we live in this sin-cursed world, it’s inevitable that many of us suffer as the world suffers, even when we are not of the world. Your steadfast faith through chronic pain and illness glorify the Lord to all who believe and do not believe in Jesus. Our praise and worship to God in all circumstances should make the world get curious. And your writing is such a beautiful form of worship💙His love for you is so evident. Thank you for sharing💙
Katie, thank you so much for this. I was worried about the timing of me publishing this piece after our conversation about your journey with healing — I didn’t want it to look like I was attacking the theology you shared about deliverance and spiritual warfare. Thank you so much for seeing my heart here. And man, I hope that someday my writing does indeed make someone in the world curious about this Jesus guy. 😉♥️
Absolutely, and this piece represents what drew me to your publication in the first place! My publication is openly about “wrestling with God”, asking hard questions, experiencing hard things as a believer, not all sunshine and rainbows with God. I love your publication title, The Battle Cry. Suffering, hurting, with Lord is such a tender place, yet I find it is where deep wisdom and godly transformation is given. It demands we move from glory to glory. My husband says I harp on it a little too much lol. But how can we not when our faith walk has been painted with so much hardship. Also, I’d like to say thank you for sharing about the substance abuse issues with your dad. I too grew up with addiction and substance abuse in the home and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. As always, thank you Christina😊
I'm sorry you've experienced the grief of substance abuse in your home, Katie. Like you, I wish it on no one. I can only take heart in the truth that with God, all things truly are redeemed.
Wow! First, you write very well. There is an exceptional smooth rhythm in your word choice and length of sentences. A constant struggle for me, in my writings.
Second, I'm sorry for your relentless fight against undefinable assailants that rob you of the typical day many of us enjoy.
I applaud your courage to write about healing from our Sovereign God. It is, as you stated, a very controversial subject.
Just to mention it invites the likelihood of opposing responses....not something you need in your current situation.
But, I believe the SS platform is one of the best places to write about it. I'm new to SS, but can already see there's a different caliber of individuals here that can disagree amicably.
I, surprisingly, believe I have been the recipient of some slow gradual healing from our gracious Lord in the last year.
I won't go into details here....and have yet to mention it even on my publication.
Thank you for your post. You'll be in my prayers and I'll see you around the platform. 😊
Thank you so much for taking the time to read what I know was such a long post and engaging with it so thoughtfully! You’re right — I know this is a hot topic, and if ever there was a post that I’d expect pushback on, it’s this one. But my hope is to show people that we can discover the goodness of God in the unknown, AND we can keep asking questions through our pain. It’s a “both/and” situation for me. Praise God that you have received healing over a period of time! Nobody talks about this! Instant, miraculous healings are glamourised, but the reality is that most healing IS a slow, steady process. Thank you so much for reading and sharing a little piece of your good news with me. 🥰
Your story touched me. As a Christian who has dealt with pain and multiple autoimmune issues for the last 30+ years, I hear you and understand what it is like to ask for healing and not receive it. (At least not in the way I expect or at the time I desire)
I meditate on This verse in 2 Corinthians 4:16-“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day.”
We live in earthly tents, and some days it feels like someone has kicked out our tent pegs, leaving us floundering inside the heavy canvas of pain. But take heart my friend, God is creating something in you and me that far surpasses what we can see or feel-He calls us to keep trusting Him and assures us he will never leave us.
My brother is living with a progressive unknown illness these last 4-5 years. I have watched it rob him of vitality and at times of hope. We don’t know when and if healing will come, but we pray and trust God for the answers. We hope, we the Lord and we pray.
And I will do the same for you-hope in the Lord and pray for your healing. Remember, you are not alone.
My goodness Christina all I can say is thank you. Thank you for bearing your heart and offering such an honest and thorough perspective of waiting on healing. I am also sorry for all the pain you've endured and will keep you in my prayers. As someone who waited 5 1/2 years to receive a diagnosis for a heart condition, I can empathize with the heart ache that accompanies waiting. I know it is not the same, but I feel I have a glimpse of understanding. As for those that claim there is "unrented sin" I agree wholeheartedly that this is one of the greatest theological travesties. One that I believe has turned far more people away from the church than to it and has created many scars in the hearts of the faithful. Overall, this was a beyond well thought out piece. Thank you for honesty and vulnerability!
SO SO beautifully said. thank you. I love this so much. Such a balanced perspective. I'm learning this also, that I don't have to cling to certainty about everything. Some things are meant to remain slightly mysterious I think, until Heaven.
Christina, you really have a way with words. It’s clear that you have a heart for the truth and that you trust in the goodness and sovereignty of God despite our fallen world. Your faith is beautiful and your willingness to wrestle with such a topic is inspiring. I admit, I easily fall under the camp of trying to find theological purpose behind healing as if finding the answer would remedy the pain it’s caused. You’re absolutely right, sometimes sh*t just happens because our world is broken. It takes a lot of faith to trust God through our pain. It takes even more faith to *still* pray for healing with a heart of trust and humility even after years of “no’s” and “not yets”. You have such a powerful story and I can only imagine the rest of the series will be just as enjoyable to read!
Kathy your comment has really encouraged me. Thank you for taking the time to read and to say such lovely things! I think the desire to find a theological purpose to our pain is SO normal, not just as Christians but as humans. We are literally meaning-making machines. 😂
As someone who is always looking for the deeper meaning, the idea that sh*t just happens is a bit of a head-scratcher for me. But essentially, I find that to be a more logical conclusion than to assume something about God that might actually obscure my understanding of His true character, simply so I can explain the pain away. In truth, our bodies hold onto the pain anyway, so I might as well sit in the frustrating lack of answers with God and wait for Him to help me understand… eventually… at some point. 😂
Bless you, Kathy! Thank you for being here!
So sorry to hear about what is going on with you physically, Christina. It can be hard to navigate our health and the journey isn’t always easy. I will say a prayer for you today ✨
I used to wonder why God never completely eradicated my depression which I’ve dealt with since my teenage years. I’d always heard of other people being completely healed, why not me? That has truthfully been a hard thing to navigate, because my depression is always lurking there in the background, ready to pounce upon me when I’m not paying attention. I’ve prayed, I’ve lamented, I’ve sobbed incoherently, and I still don’t have any answers, but I can say, I have felt Him beside me in all of it. All this to say is that I truly empathize with you have written here Christina and I appreciate your honesty in what can be a tricky subject to talk about.
Sending hugs 💗
Thank you for sharing a little piece of your story, Mackenzie (and for reading a long chunk of mine). I am going to be writing further about the specific topic of healing when it comes to mental health later on in this series, but all I will say for now is that I am so sorry that you’ve suffered with depression for so long, and I applaud your tenacity to trust God despite the painful “why’s” of not being healed (yet, I’ll always say “yet.” I’ll always believe for our healing). Bless you, Mackenzie. Praying peace over you today. ♥️
I’ve said it before, but you have a wonderful voice for narrating. Has anyone told you that a bit of a British accent is starting to sneak in?
At 63 years of age God has still not healed my autism and a couple dozen comorbidities. But I am comforted by knowing that God chooses the weak things of this world to reveal His power.
Since you’ve already addressed the issue of genetic and stress problems, have you or your doctors considered whether you may have high functioning autism, as I do? It often comes with a lot of comorbidities due to general genetic issues.
One big clue is : do you find social interaction to be a lot of work and then end up utterly depleted with severe exhaustion after a long period amidst several people? Sometimes exhaustion can be the result of a lot of talking to even one person you’re not close to.
Regardless, I am praying for God‘s will to be done in the lives of you and your family.
Thank you so much for sharing a little piece of your story with me, Bob. It means a lot, and I know that everyone's healing (or not healing) journey is so personal.
To answer your question, I do not think that there is a high chance that I have high functioning autism. I have worked as a teacher and manager around a wide variety of neurodivergent people, and God has given me such a heart and love for the ways in which their brains work. But I myself would definitely class as "neurotypical." Thank you so much for your suggestions, though. I truly appreciate it! Bless you!
Well, this just challenged me to do a little more praying for healing than I have the last 10 years. I had a similar situation with a classmate in Bible college who was super disappointed with me when I said I was taking a break from praying for healing, because my more urgent request was for the grace to just get through a single day in my body. A decade later my body still has its issues, but getting through each day is quite a bit easier. Perhaps since God has answered those prayers it’s time to return to asking for full healing. Thank you for the challenge.
I think there is SO much merit in praying for nothing but the grace to endure. I still don't know WHY I feel such a challenge to pray for healing, because I truly don't know if the healing will ever come, and I can be content with the mere ability to endure on this side of heaven. It feels like God is saying to me "never settle" or even "I didn't make you to settle." But then I feel this fear of getting prosperity gospelly and it all feels a bit weird. Ultimately, though, I just keep defaulting to the simple truth that we pray for healing because we can, and that fact in itself is pretty cool. I hope that whatever comes of your prayers, you feel a sense of beauty in your very ability to pray it. Bless you, Tabitha. <3
This is the first piece of yours that I’ve read, and I’m so impressed. Appreciate your honesty and vulnerability
I’ve personally experienced both miraculous healing (of a likely terminal cancer no less) and chronic, life-sucking illness. There’s such a challenge in loving and trusting a God who sometimes heals.
A realisation that has helped me is reflecting on the way that God suffers with me, and with all of us. He chooses to be with us in our suffering. He could stop it but he doesn't always. The thought of the pain that he must experience as he suffers with each of the billions of people on earth with pain that he could take away but chooses to endure is incredible to me. There is a love in that that is hard to comprehend.
Yes, Christine. That truth about Him being with us in our suffering was profoundly life-changing for my faith a few years back. It dawned on me as I was reading God on Mute, and I've never been the same kind of Christian since. Thank you so much for sharing (and praise God for your healing!!!)
So beautifully said Christina. As we live in this sin-cursed world, it’s inevitable that many of us suffer as the world suffers, even when we are not of the world. Your steadfast faith through chronic pain and illness glorify the Lord to all who believe and do not believe in Jesus. Our praise and worship to God in all circumstances should make the world get curious. And your writing is such a beautiful form of worship💙His love for you is so evident. Thank you for sharing💙
Katie, thank you so much for this. I was worried about the timing of me publishing this piece after our conversation about your journey with healing — I didn’t want it to look like I was attacking the theology you shared about deliverance and spiritual warfare. Thank you so much for seeing my heart here. And man, I hope that someday my writing does indeed make someone in the world curious about this Jesus guy. 😉♥️
Absolutely, and this piece represents what drew me to your publication in the first place! My publication is openly about “wrestling with God”, asking hard questions, experiencing hard things as a believer, not all sunshine and rainbows with God. I love your publication title, The Battle Cry. Suffering, hurting, with Lord is such a tender place, yet I find it is where deep wisdom and godly transformation is given. It demands we move from glory to glory. My husband says I harp on it a little too much lol. But how can we not when our faith walk has been painted with so much hardship. Also, I’d like to say thank you for sharing about the substance abuse issues with your dad. I too grew up with addiction and substance abuse in the home and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. As always, thank you Christina😊
Yes to all of this!
I'm sorry you've experienced the grief of substance abuse in your home, Katie. Like you, I wish it on no one. I can only take heart in the truth that with God, all things truly are redeemed.
I have no words. 😭♥️
Thank you so much for reading, sweet Brittany. Peace be with you. ♥️
Christina,
Wow! First, you write very well. There is an exceptional smooth rhythm in your word choice and length of sentences. A constant struggle for me, in my writings.
Second, I'm sorry for your relentless fight against undefinable assailants that rob you of the typical day many of us enjoy.
I applaud your courage to write about healing from our Sovereign God. It is, as you stated, a very controversial subject.
Just to mention it invites the likelihood of opposing responses....not something you need in your current situation.
But, I believe the SS platform is one of the best places to write about it. I'm new to SS, but can already see there's a different caliber of individuals here that can disagree amicably.
I, surprisingly, believe I have been the recipient of some slow gradual healing from our gracious Lord in the last year.
I won't go into details here....and have yet to mention it even on my publication.
Thank you for your post. You'll be in my prayers and I'll see you around the platform. 😊
Thank you so much for taking the time to read what I know was such a long post and engaging with it so thoughtfully! You’re right — I know this is a hot topic, and if ever there was a post that I’d expect pushback on, it’s this one. But my hope is to show people that we can discover the goodness of God in the unknown, AND we can keep asking questions through our pain. It’s a “both/and” situation for me. Praise God that you have received healing over a period of time! Nobody talks about this! Instant, miraculous healings are glamourised, but the reality is that most healing IS a slow, steady process. Thank you so much for reading and sharing a little piece of your good news with me. 🥰
Your story touched me. As a Christian who has dealt with pain and multiple autoimmune issues for the last 30+ years, I hear you and understand what it is like to ask for healing and not receive it. (At least not in the way I expect or at the time I desire)
I meditate on This verse in 2 Corinthians 4:16-“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day.”
We live in earthly tents, and some days it feels like someone has kicked out our tent pegs, leaving us floundering inside the heavy canvas of pain. But take heart my friend, God is creating something in you and me that far surpasses what we can see or feel-He calls us to keep trusting Him and assures us he will never leave us.
My brother is living with a progressive unknown illness these last 4-5 years. I have watched it rob him of vitality and at times of hope. We don’t know when and if healing will come, but we pray and trust God for the answers. We hope, we the Lord and we pray.
And I will do the same for you-hope in the Lord and pray for your healing. Remember, you are not alone.
My goodness Christina all I can say is thank you. Thank you for bearing your heart and offering such an honest and thorough perspective of waiting on healing. I am also sorry for all the pain you've endured and will keep you in my prayers. As someone who waited 5 1/2 years to receive a diagnosis for a heart condition, I can empathize with the heart ache that accompanies waiting. I know it is not the same, but I feel I have a glimpse of understanding. As for those that claim there is "unrented sin" I agree wholeheartedly that this is one of the greatest theological travesties. One that I believe has turned far more people away from the church than to it and has created many scars in the hearts of the faithful. Overall, this was a beyond well thought out piece. Thank you for honesty and vulnerability!
SO SO beautifully said. thank you. I love this so much. Such a balanced perspective. I'm learning this also, that I don't have to cling to certainty about everything. Some things are meant to remain slightly mysterious I think, until Heaven.